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Creative & Free

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leaves of indescretion [Jun. 20th, 2005|03:39 pm]
Creative & Free

oh, this face, to holding back tears,
why here and why now? no good reason.

the lonesome stopped speaking
when the phones stopped ringing.

she hid in her watery chest,
no rowing this afternoon, no paddle.

waves atop purplish heart,
vein failure post haste.

greyblue glued to television
screens filled with nothing.

there once was a time
we could sneak like mice.

creaky cracked doors hidden behind dreams,
memory withstanding, come alive,
here and now.

let us change faces,
deja vu in poetry.

turn table fingers on top of
the greenest, wettest grass.

flies flying, not being swatted.
buzzing lightly around this room.

beeping fax machines and blistering
hearts, fevered and undone for years, now.

blank paper sheets in reams,
it is all recycled and fresher than you.

fingernails nothing,
wet paint signs on white picket fences.

drawing lines in the ocean
with sand-tipped pencils.

new tattoos on top of
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she says [Jun. 14th, 2005|08:43 am]
Creative & Free

my heart will stop its aching
once i cut off my arms and legs
and throw them out into the sea.

limbless and serene.

but however will i make it that far
if i have no arms to carry my legs,
and no legs to carry me there?
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just [Jun. 9th, 2005|03:59 pm]
Creative & Free

do you think if you are bad with names
that you just are too preoccupied?

do you think you just don't care enough,
or that you are just in your own head,
or are you just a fucking snob?

or is it just an accident,
purely accidental?

shrug it off, shrug it off.

i don't want you to know my name,
don't you dare try to remember it.

it is too hard to pronounce,
you'd just fuck it up. fuck up.

you are just a preoccupied fucking snob, anyway.
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(no subject) [May. 31st, 2005|11:24 pm]
Creative & Free

i wish the heavy sighs
would make their way out of my chest.

curving my spine with their weight.

i don't think they know
which way is up.
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(no subject) [Mar. 4th, 2005|11:54 am]
Creative & Free

is it cold in here,
or is that just you?
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(no subject) [Mar. 1st, 2005|03:05 pm]
Creative & Free

as long as i have my wits, my spine, and my orange crush, i am good to go.
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conversations competing for space [Mar. 1st, 2005|01:38 pm]
Creative & Free

there's this place,
this time, this space,
where we sit and think and think and think
our days away until there is nothing left,
and it is only one o'clock in the pee em.

what do you do
when your days turn into weeks?
twenty-four hours in this place.
you got here at nine and left
almost immediately.

space above you seems infinite
and you just seem so short.

i need a splash of color
or a poison arrow dart
in my heart.

we need to wake up from this sleep,
this boredom that lasts for weeks.

the clock ticks on, while i get
three shots of life from a starbucks
coffee cup, it's all filled up.

this renewal will have to do for now,
since nothing else wakes me like you do.
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sorry [Feb. 24th, 2005|09:37 am]
Creative & Free

i'm sorry that i'm not better. i'm sorry that i'm not a better friend, a better lover, a better office manager. i'm sorry my hair is so long that it gets tangled on your fingers, even though you have never actually touched me. you have never seen me, have you? i'm sorry that i have the need to apologize. i'm sorry that i'm not thin, warm, or amazing. but i am amazing. you should know. in your world there is light and dark, and the separation between them is unquestionable. i can see the faith you have in me. i am sorry for that, sometimes, because i lose faith in me so often. i need the unconditional love from myself, but i am too busy giving it away. sometimes i am sorry for that. no, i lie, i am never sorry for that. i am sorry i lie, even if it is only to confess it seconds later. i only do that while typing here, it seems. i am sorry i type here, too, but i need this outlet. i need my fingers to warm themselves when my thoughts get cold and lonely from lack of contact. your voice in my ear three minutes ago is not enough to save me today. most of all i'm sorry for feeling sorry for myself.
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wear [Feb. 23rd, 2005|03:58 pm]
Creative & Free

i know i will wear you out, i would like to wear you out. i will wear me out instead, or maybe i will wear us all away until there is nothing at all left. we will become invisible, like the lucky ghosts. the unlucky ones walk the streets in plain view of everyone's burning eyes. they wear away the heels of their boots, walking so much. i would like to walk again with you. let us find the downpour once more, and fight until the death. fight the dry clothes until they are soaked. stomp splintering shins in puddles and scream into the clouded sky. you and i. let us wear down the rough edges with discussions of the sea, how it crashes and crushes and splashes and touches us, all in the right spots. all of it. a part of sincerity kind of rhymes with bare, but i can tell you, i am only one of those, flying high under waves of green-blue. how do you wear it?
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stablility [Feb. 22nd, 2005|03:07 pm]
Creative & Free

[mood |restlessrestless]

the wind will take out the stability of where i am right now. the bushes will uproot and roll into the streets, stopping the traffic in every direction. the rain will come down sideways and glance at me through cracks in the window from where the telephone wires whipped end to end into my eyes. empty sockets. i will roll around on the floor and scream to the heater, the only thing keeping me company. the hills will melt under this grand pressure being exuded by flow of droplets, one by one making an effort to kill all buildings. the ivy will grow up and around sides of houses and pull them all down. we are destroyed by what we create. delusions of safety, deformed by construction. destructive. our walls are not a solid as you think. i would like to think we are safe and secure, wrapped up in sound and mattering so hard to one another. we sit stale in office chairs in front of computer screens typing words that mean shit.
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